“No one has to bear the burden of tough times all by themselves.” – Jack Canfield
After reading the above quote, I thought it essential to speak from a different place. As someone who tried to manage depression and anxiety alone for a long time, I realized that I needed a support system. It was necessary! By finding the right therapist and adopting a solid prayer life, I knew I also needed a few people who would be my safe place and in my corner. The combination of these things made me feel grounded.
For those who struggle, we can sometimes become absorbed in our feelings and predict how others should consistently support us. We fail to realize that our support systems, be it a family member, friend or romantic partner, also require a support system.
As they guide us through our journey, we need to realize that they need the headspace to navigate through their own. There are times when we don’t take a moment to ask our support how they are, and the help they freely give can quickly become burdensome and eventually turn into resentment.
“Bear the burdens of others, but don’t put them in your pocket too.” Brandi Carlile
For those of you who have taken on the responsibility of supporting us who struggle, I want to say Thank You! We realize people who often help others either can assist and continue to live their lives. While others help and hold onto the pain and trauma and get lost in the midst. The latter can result in the support overshadowing the relationship, and the union ends up being one-sided, leaving our support systems feeling burdened, depleted and resentful. I know it’s not an easy task, and I want to give insight into how you can feel supported as you support us.
- Make time for yourself, and do it often
- Be open, honest and vulnerable
- You are not responsible for the state of our mental health
- Know what you want and require from your support system
- Strengthen the close relationships you already have
- Reconnect with your interests and hobbies
- If the relationship is depleting you, it’s ok to walk away
We all deserve the peace and calm of healthy, full, open relationships that flourish amid struggle.